Signature ;p

Just now me learning how to create my signature here..

It was fun! hehe. After all..below is my sigi. i loike ;p

When evrything went wrong...

I don't know why I am having many problems at one time..and it happens frequently..
Is it because it's me who don't know how to handle the problem? or is it me who brings the problem?
When I try to be the best, doing what I think is best for me and him, that is when the problems come. I am tired of having problems..I am tired for I'll cry every time I'm facing them. I'm tired when I know I'll have headache...I don't know what is the root of all these problems..everything is different now...very different. If my condition is like this, with no improvement, I think at the end I will admitted to an insane asylum.Maybe I have to find a job which needs me to keep on doing my work so I will not think about my problems.Please God help me...

Craig's Walking Away

This is the lyrics so..let's sing!

Craig's You Don't Miss Your Water

Kawan oh kawan...

Kawan di waktu senang tak susah nak cari tapi kawan di waktu susah, sukar di cari. For this particular thought, I am so agree with it. I think everyone pn aware with this thing kan? Alangkah bahagianya hidup everyone kalo setiap individu yang bernama 'kawan' tu ada character macam si tikus kat atas ni huhu.Tapi kadang2 org yang kita percaya sangat2 pun boleh betray kita. Tak lama dulu aku pernah jugak rapat dgn my friend ni. Pegi mana2 pun sama-sama, and people around me pun notice yang kitaorg rapat. But one day, aku rasa ada benda yang die wat yang aku tak boleh tolerate lagi dah. Maybe for her bende tu takde apa. Tapi bagi aku bende tu is BIG. Before this pun, while I'm close with her, ada je bende yang aku tak berkenan tapi up to one point, I think I can't act normal anymore. Honestly aku tak clarify things ngan die tapi aku say ape yang aku rasa indirectly. Either die paham or tak, tu je..sebab aku rasa die dah cukup besar untuk paham apa yang aku sampaikan.

Actually since aku study dulu pn, started from this one day that my so called best friend backstabbed me, aku memang dah tak rapat ngn sape2 sebab dah serik difitnah oleh kawan yang dikatakan 'best friend' itu. Then, when the thing Ive mentioned jadi, lagi bertambah aku tak nak rapat ngn sape2. Selain di 'control' oleh sang kawan rapat yang aku mention tadi, aku rasa cukup-cukuplah..I am not yours. Let me do my own things. As I have never interfere or nk sibuk2 kisah what you want to do, I also don't want you to do the same thing to me.

That is one thing. Another thing yang nak di 'storykan' di sini ialah..friends yang bila tiba masa die susah, aku yang dicari. Tapi bila aku memerlukan dia untuk tolong aku, die just refuse..senang kan? Sad..that is what I can say..can't be denied yang people nowadays are selfish. Selfish is O.K I suppose but for certain situations and conditions jela. Kalo semua bende pun kita nak jadi selfish, it's not good and it is not the way we live our life. Kita bukan hidup sorang2. One day maybe we need help and that's the time kita nak call or find our friends. Tapi tak salah jugak kalo waktu kita senang kita tolong orang yang memerlukan. Tapi for this particular thing, on the positive side, bagusla yang this person being honest. Otherwise this person will help me tapi tak ikhlas. Honesty is the best policy. So bagusla that this person applied this quotation dalam hidup die.

So I still think that I don't have to be close to sape2 because bila kita rapat sangat dengan orang pun susah. And dalam hidup pun, aku akan tolong orang as long as bende tu bukanla diluar jangkauan myself. I admit that sometimes me also being selfish tapi aku still guna budi bicara and rasional bila ada yang memerlukan my help. Kalo kawan tu dah sampai tak ada duit, sampai hati ke kita nak tgk die berlapar and susah?

And sometimes people are so funny..I did help people who I don't know when I was doing my degree but at the end, I've been scolded by A*** because of me helping people in need. So weird..is helping people a crime? The story goes like this...

There were two girls completing their project. They were going to have an exhibition or talk on 'Cara-cara Menguruskan Jenazah' (something like that). Then, they saw me sitting in front of them, wearing my society shirt. So they knew that I'm taking English Language and Literature course. They then called me and asked the meaning of 'mengkapankan mayat' but unfortunately my vocabulary does not cover that word yet at that time. But if I said that 'I don't know', I will feel malu because people's expectation on us is high and I need to not to drop the waterface of people of the same course as I am. So I asked them to wait a little while I am waiting for a person and this person's vocab is better than mine (so I think I want to ask him for the meaning). Yet when I told him that the girls asked me about that he was looking at me and said 'kenapa nak tolong? biarkan jela. Cakap tak tau je dahla'. I was thinking why he said such thing? I felt pity and guilty for not being able to help the girls. After about twenty minutes, my senior came and I asked her to help the girls. I felt relief as I can eventually help them even though it is not me who translated the sentence but I've put my effort at least in helping them.

I think we have to always remember this quotation...'buat baik berpada-pada,buat jahat jangan sekali'. Nak buat baik tu, fikir-fikirlah jugak, tapi janganla sampai bila tengok orang yang betul2 susah pun nak fikir lagi. And selagi ada daya kita,apa salahnya kita menolong. Mungkin hari ni kita senang, esok lusa kita susah, sape tau. If we want something good from people, we have to give them first.

What the heck?

I don't know this is a normal thing that happens everywhere in this world that we stand in..
does old men usually talk dirty things to young ladies? It is normal if they have this kind of conversation among the people of the same gender but it is not proper to talk like that to girls who are in fact,not married yet yaacckkkss!
The story sounds like this..

In my office, my colleagues are mostly the people of young age.BUT...there is one person who I considered as the eldest colleague of us..His age is about 51 years. As my friends and I are young, so we found it so hard to get along and mix around with him. Once we had argued with him about the volume of the radio. He always turned it slow yet we will turned it loud again (actually it is not too loud). We listen to English radio channel but because of he doesn't have the interest in that channel so that's why this thing happened. There's one time when he

is bengang with us and said 'orang Melayu dengar radio melayu jela' haha. *ADA AKU KISAH?* What a narrow mind he has. Another thing is he stares people, rather that 'look' and in a way I think it's very RUDE! There are things that he did that annoy me but this particular one thing is so DISGUSTING; he said to one of my friends.. 'bila nk kawin?kawin ni best tau..best waktu malam pertama' (he did talk about marriage frequently but this one makes me want to throw out eeewwww!!!)

*There are actually so many things done by him but for revealing all of them, there will be no enough space to write..lalalalala~

Yes, you have married but then is it necessary to talk to a young single lady like that? There is one more thing that he said to us; once I said 'kenapala waktu2 camni diaorg ni cuti?' (regarding the people who need to approve my claim form)

Then, he proudly said 'tu layan lakila kat umah tu' and my friends and I were like *what?*

Pleasela..do you need to say those nasty things? You are like our father..are those the things that you talk to your children? But the funny part is, when he utter the nasty words..nobody entertained him huhu.Sometimes I do feel pity when we don't really talk to him but when he did things that I've mentioned before,plus the miang action, I'll feel like....*WHAT THE HECK?*

Hitam putih kehidupan..

Dulu...waktu aku still bergelar student,aku tak nampak realiti dunia ni.

Ya,org kata dunia ni penuh cabaran. Kita akan berjumpa dengan org yg bermacam-macam kerenah and ragam, tapi aku tak nampak. Aku selesa dengan apa yang aku ada sebagai student.

Duit cukup..kalo tak cukup, just give a call to my parents then there you are..duit untk makan, shopping, buku and apa saje yg aku perlukan.

Tapi..setapak aku melangkah keluar dari alam tu,aku dah start merasakan bahang kepanasan realiti dunia yang aku pijak ni. Nak cari kerja,bukan dalam sekelip mata..nak memilih?jangan..

Kalo ikutkan hati untuk memilah,mungkin skrang aku masih tak bekerja lagi, and mungkin aku tak jadi seorang pendidik, satu profesion yang aku suka bila aku 'jumpa'..Tak kenal maka tak cinta..

Pada awal waktu aku bekerja,semuanya berjalan dengan lancar. Mungkin ada masalah atau keadaan berkenaan student yang aku kene hadapi, belajar and adapt tapi tu semua adalah..small matter. Aku seronok bekerja dengan rakan-rakan sejawat. Tak ada masalah antara kami, kami semua happy.

Namun...langit tak selalunya cerah. Apa yang aku ada,kegembiraan yang aku rasa berjumpa penghalangnya. Disebabkan luka yg kecil, keadaan menjadi parah. Waktu ini, semua yang buruk terserlah, perangai yang selama ni tak nampak semuanya jelas.. Ini baru sebahagian mainan dunia yang aku nampak.Setapak lagi aku dalam realiti dunia ni, aku boleh discover banyak lagi benda. Semalam bila aku cerita apa yang aku nampak and rasa pada mama, dia hanya senyum. Sebagai org yang dah lama makan garam, ini adalah kecil.

Sekarang, semuanya dah tak macam dulu. Dulu cakap n pesan len skarang ap yg dikata tak sama dengan waktu mula2. Aku rimas. Alangkah bagusnya kalau aku dapat lari dari semua ni. Tapi mungkin aku kena belajar macam mana nak face all these things, bukannya lari, so that benda ni semua boleh dijadikan 'rujukan dan panduan' in future.

Inilah dunia yang sementara..dunia yang diagung-agungkan and dunia yang dikejar manusia...