You just...don't know

You just don't know how much I love you and how much I miss you
You don't know if I cried
You don't know if I lost my sanity because I think about you..a lot
You just don't know how I wish we were together

My life is no longer beautiful as it was before..yes,when you are here
There's no more sun shines
No more beeps on my phone displaying your name
No more sincere smile I can give to people around me

It hurts so much to lose you
Bearing all the problems alone
No one wants to listen to what I have in my mind
No one to share stories to

I lost everything.Yes.Everything.
But I know that you don't know all this
All you can see is I'm happy aren't you?
But do you know that behind that laughs, there are all tears
I fall sick.I can't eat.I can't sleep...since you were gone.

I am no more sane.When I am with people, I sit still, my mouth just can't afford to say anything because i am busying thinking of the happiness we had together.People noticed that I have problems.Yes, they do. They know who am I thinking of. They know it is you. They asked me not to think about you for you no longer want me but I can't afford to. I hope you are happy with the person you loved as you choose not to have me anymore. Please don't regret when I am no longer alive. My health condition is getting worse. I wanted to tell you but I stopped because I think you might not want to know anything about me anymore. I am no longer there in your life. So why would you want to know about this person.

p/s: you can take my heart as you have taken it away long time ago.Don't have to return it back to me.I don't want it anymore.

Everyday I eat JAM

Don't know why lately my housing area will be fulled with vehicles. You name it..vans, motorcycle, cars, bicycle, trucks, taxis, and buses. Complete isn't it? After a year and few months I've been living there, this is the first time that I think this place is soooooo crowded. To get out from the gate even, it stops you for like half an hour. That is if you are an ordinary driver in KL. Meaning you always break the rules on the road. But just think if you are a kind of polite driver. Always obey the rules. If there were times that you disobey them, it is done accidentally rather than intentionally. Just imagine how long you will be stopped among the big, lousy and noisy vehicles as well as drivers?

Yeah..I know the reason guys. Blame the school on the opposite side of my apartment. Because of it, we have to bear this condition. Buuuttt..nah, it's not about the school. It's about the people who are sending their kids everyday. Maybe they need to find other alternatives to send their children to the school and at the same time, avoid the road from being so crowded with all types of vehicles. Since the school holiday was over, I have to sacrifice my sleep to get up and ready for work. Hate this so much. I need to get up to face the jam. That's the problem. Like today, I get out from my house as early as 6.55 a.m. because I don't want to be in jam again. The traffic was far better than other days but still slow. And actually it only takes me about 10 to 15 minutes to arrive at my workplace. Since I went out early just now and there were not much troubles done by the drivers, I arrived at the office so very early. When there were only four to five cars parked at the parking lot. See? There were not much people coming yet. Hoooyyeeeaahhh so early *clap clap clap*

I don't want to explain about the condition when I'm going back home. It is worse than the morning. So to make things clear, I have decided to move. Not my car but myself. I'll choose a place nearer and more peaceful compared to the one I have today. I'm waiting for the right one. And once I have moved, I won't eat jam anymore I suppose.