Kawan oh kawan...

Kawan di waktu senang tak susah nak cari tapi kawan di waktu susah, sukar di cari. For this particular thought, I am so agree with it. I think everyone pn aware with this thing kan? Alangkah bahagianya hidup everyone kalo setiap individu yang bernama 'kawan' tu ada character macam si tikus kat atas ni huhu.Tapi kadang2 org yang kita percaya sangat2 pun boleh betray kita. Tak lama dulu aku pernah jugak rapat dgn my friend ni. Pegi mana2 pun sama-sama, and people around me pun notice yang kitaorg rapat. But one day, aku rasa ada benda yang die wat yang aku tak boleh tolerate lagi dah. Maybe for her bende tu takde apa. Tapi bagi aku bende tu is BIG. Before this pun, while I'm close with her, ada je bende yang aku tak berkenan tapi up to one point, I think I can't act normal anymore. Honestly aku tak clarify things ngan die tapi aku say ape yang aku rasa indirectly. Either die paham or tak, tu je..sebab aku rasa die dah cukup besar untuk paham apa yang aku sampaikan.

Actually since aku study dulu pn, started from this one day that my so called best friend backstabbed me, aku memang dah tak rapat ngn sape2 sebab dah serik difitnah oleh kawan yang dikatakan 'best friend' itu. Then, when the thing Ive mentioned jadi, lagi bertambah aku tak nak rapat ngn sape2. Selain di 'control' oleh sang kawan rapat yang aku mention tadi, aku rasa cukup-cukuplah..I am not yours. Let me do my own things. As I have never interfere or nk sibuk2 kisah what you want to do, I also don't want you to do the same thing to me.

That is one thing. Another thing yang nak di 'storykan' di sini ialah..friends yang bila tiba masa die susah, aku yang dicari. Tapi bila aku memerlukan dia untuk tolong aku, die just refuse..senang kan? Sad..that is what I can say..can't be denied yang people nowadays are selfish. Selfish is O.K I suppose but for certain situations and conditions jela. Kalo semua bende pun kita nak jadi selfish, it's not good and it is not the way we live our life. Kita bukan hidup sorang2. One day maybe we need help and that's the time kita nak call or find our friends. Tapi tak salah jugak kalo waktu kita senang kita tolong orang yang memerlukan. Tapi for this particular thing, on the positive side, bagusla yang this person being honest. Otherwise this person will help me tapi tak ikhlas. Honesty is the best policy. So bagusla that this person applied this quotation dalam hidup die.

So I still think that I don't have to be close to sape2 because bila kita rapat sangat dengan orang pun susah. And dalam hidup pun, aku akan tolong orang as long as bende tu bukanla diluar jangkauan myself. I admit that sometimes me also being selfish tapi aku still guna budi bicara and rasional bila ada yang memerlukan my help. Kalo kawan tu dah sampai tak ada duit, sampai hati ke kita nak tgk die berlapar and susah?

And sometimes people are so funny..I did help people who I don't know when I was doing my degree but at the end, I've been scolded by A*** because of me helping people in need. So weird..is helping people a crime? The story goes like this...

There were two girls completing their project. They were going to have an exhibition or talk on 'Cara-cara Menguruskan Jenazah' (something like that). Then, they saw me sitting in front of them, wearing my society shirt. So they knew that I'm taking English Language and Literature course. They then called me and asked the meaning of 'mengkapankan mayat' but unfortunately my vocabulary does not cover that word yet at that time. But if I said that 'I don't know', I will feel malu because people's expectation on us is high and I need to not to drop the waterface of people of the same course as I am. So I asked them to wait a little while I am waiting for a person and this person's vocab is better than mine (so I think I want to ask him for the meaning). Yet when I told him that the girls asked me about that he was looking at me and said 'kenapa nak tolong? biarkan jela. Cakap tak tau je dahla'. I was thinking why he said such thing? I felt pity and guilty for not being able to help the girls. After about twenty minutes, my senior came and I asked her to help the girls. I felt relief as I can eventually help them even though it is not me who translated the sentence but I've put my effort at least in helping them.

I think we have to always remember this quotation...'buat baik berpada-pada,buat jahat jangan sekali'. Nak buat baik tu, fikir-fikirlah jugak, tapi janganla sampai bila tengok orang yang betul2 susah pun nak fikir lagi. And selagi ada daya kita,apa salahnya kita menolong. Mungkin hari ni kita senang, esok lusa kita susah, sape tau. If we want something good from people, we have to give them first.