If I could turn back time

If I have the power to turn back time, or if there are times when God will give us like 'wishes', I would choose to go back when I was still in my mother's womb. There will be a time when God asks whether we can carry out our responsibilities in this world *correct me if i'm wrong*. And responsibilities bring a big meaning. It covers everything as a Muslim of course. And for that I would choose not to step my feet into this world...not to take all the responsibilities.

If I know that this world is ugly, full of things that are so attempting, those which can bring us to the hell, by the name of Allah I don't dare to take the risk. Enough with small things like our obligations. It sounds easy when we have to pray five times a day. But to carry out that obligation, there will be so many things that will come between the time. Work, kids, problem, laziness and what not. This world ain't easy.

I would choose not to enter this world because of the problems that we, adults, are facing. Kids don't have problems as we do but it's impossible to be a kid all the way unless we die as a kid. Life is hard to live in. Once I did pray to die as a child. That was when I didn't reach my puberty yet and I did that because I want to enter jannah.

And talking about people,they can make me crazy. All the problems that they created..only God knows how much is the pain I have to keep. I don't usually say what I feel because of certain reasons. Last time I did, people get annoyed and one person did say to me that sometimes we have to keep whatever feelings that we have in order not to make things worse. And since that, I keep most of my feelings to myself. It's hard though but I am sort of immune with that. Sometimes I did share my stories with friends and shockingly they said that as a woman, they can't stand at the place I'm standing right now. Then I realized that now I'm a stronger person. Yeah..look at the bright side.

If I could turn back time....I would just choose to die before I was born.