Maaf

Perkataan 'maaf' tu selalu diungkap waktu kita buat salah dengan orang lain. Dan fungsi perkataan itu juga adalah untuk memohon untuk orang lain memaafkan salah kita. Dari waktu sekolah lagi, teori yang diajar adalah, kalau kita buat salah, kita kena memohon maaf. Dan kesimpulan yang dapat dibuat adalah, kalau kita tak buat salah, kita tak perlulah minta maaf kan?

'Experience is the best teacher'. Rasanya semua orang pun pernah dengar benda ni. And daripada guru yang terbaik ini jugalah aku rasa teori yang aku belajar kat sekolah tu tak semestinya betul. Kadang-kadang dalam kita hidup ni, perkataan maaf tu tak semestinya kita perlu ungkap hanya diwaktu kita bersalah. Ada keadaan yang memerlukan kita untuk ungkap perkataan tu dalam keadaan yang kita totally innocent. Tak adil? Kalau nak ikut adil ke tak, mungkin ye lah. Tapi dalam keadaan yang tegang, perlukah kita still nak biar keadaan tu terus tegang kan? Bagus kalau kita ambil langkah untuk minta maaf. Tapiii later kita still kena betulkan keadaan.

Bila maaf diungkap dlaam keadaan yang kita tak bersalah jugak, bermaksud kita appreciate nilai relationship kita lebih dari ego kita. Memang kalau ikut ego, maka ikutlah kita teori yang kita blajar kat sekolah. Tapi kalau kita guna akal dan rasional lebih dari perasaan, maka tak valid lah teori tu. And yes, other than kita nak elakkan keadaan yang tegang berlanjut-lanjutan, kita ungkapkan maaf bila kita ketepikan ego kita untuk relationship yang kita sayang, appreciate and nilai dengan nilai yang tinggi.

Maaf bukanlah sekadar ungkapan yang pada dasarnya hanyalah berfungsi dan patut digunakan pada waktu kita bersalah pada seseorang. Tetapi ungkapan ni carries a very high value and maksud yang mendalam. Ada orang yang boleh 'cair' dengan ayat yang panjangnya hanyalah empat huruf ni. So, it is proven yang maaf is not only dat 'maaf'. Jadi ringan-ringakanlah mulut untuk minta maaf. Janganlah letakkan ego tu terlalu tinggi sampaikan kadang-kadang kita bersalah tapi still nak tegakkan benang yang basah. Berbaloi ke kita hilang satu relationship hanya disebabkan beratnya mulut untuk minta maaf? Jangan menyesal tak sudah, sudahlah.

You just...don't know

You just don't know how much I love you and how much I miss you
You don't know if I cried
You don't know if I lost my sanity because I think about you..a lot
You just don't know how I wish we were together

My life is no longer beautiful as it was before..yes,when you are here
There's no more sun shines
No more beeps on my phone displaying your name
No more sincere smile I can give to people around me

It hurts so much to lose you
Bearing all the problems alone
No one wants to listen to what I have in my mind
No one to share stories to

I lost everything.Yes.Everything.
But I know that you don't know all this
All you can see is I'm happy aren't you?
But do you know that behind that laughs, there are all tears
I fall sick.I can't eat.I can't sleep...since you were gone.

I am no more sane.When I am with people, I sit still, my mouth just can't afford to say anything because i am busying thinking of the happiness we had together.People noticed that I have problems.Yes, they do. They know who am I thinking of. They know it is you. They asked me not to think about you for you no longer want me but I can't afford to. I hope you are happy with the person you loved as you choose not to have me anymore. Please don't regret when I am no longer alive. My health condition is getting worse. I wanted to tell you but I stopped because I think you might not want to know anything about me anymore. I am no longer there in your life. So why would you want to know about this person.

p/s: you can take my heart as you have taken it away long time ago.Don't have to return it back to me.I don't want it anymore.

Everyday I eat JAM

Don't know why lately my housing area will be fulled with vehicles. You name it..vans, motorcycle, cars, bicycle, trucks, taxis, and buses. Complete isn't it? After a year and few months I've been living there, this is the first time that I think this place is soooooo crowded. To get out from the gate even, it stops you for like half an hour. That is if you are an ordinary driver in KL. Meaning you always break the rules on the road. But just think if you are a kind of polite driver. Always obey the rules. If there were times that you disobey them, it is done accidentally rather than intentionally. Just imagine how long you will be stopped among the big, lousy and noisy vehicles as well as drivers?

Yeah..I know the reason guys. Blame the school on the opposite side of my apartment. Because of it, we have to bear this condition. Buuuttt..nah, it's not about the school. It's about the people who are sending their kids everyday. Maybe they need to find other alternatives to send their children to the school and at the same time, avoid the road from being so crowded with all types of vehicles. Since the school holiday was over, I have to sacrifice my sleep to get up and ready for work. Hate this so much. I need to get up to face the jam. That's the problem. Like today, I get out from my house as early as 6.55 a.m. because I don't want to be in jam again. The traffic was far better than other days but still slow. And actually it only takes me about 10 to 15 minutes to arrive at my workplace. Since I went out early just now and there were not much troubles done by the drivers, I arrived at the office so very early. When there were only four to five cars parked at the parking lot. See? There were not much people coming yet. Hoooyyeeeaahhh so early *clap clap clap*

I don't want to explain about the condition when I'm going back home. It is worse than the morning. So to make things clear, I have decided to move. Not my car but myself. I'll choose a place nearer and more peaceful compared to the one I have today. I'm waiting for the right one. And once I have moved, I won't eat jam anymore I suppose.

Frustration

Aku baru tau macam mana dia sebenarnya dengan partner dia. Tiba-tiba aku teringat semua benda yang pernah dia bagitau aku dulu. And aku tertanya betul ke semua benda yang dia bagitau aku dulu? Betul ke semuanya? Atau semua tu adalah untuk menyedapkan hati aku? Aku tau dia tau aku macam mana and adakah semua yang dia cakap tu untuk buat aku ok. Just untuk ambil hati aku. Frust bila aku dapat tau benda tu semua. Mungkin aku tak patut percaya orang sangat. Bila aku percaya, macam ni pulak the ending.

Birthday celebration invitation

Semalam ada students ajak pegi celebrate her friend's birthday. Hesitated at the beginning tapi bila she insisted, pegi jugaklah. Her friend is also my student, named Mustaqim. So we went to Times Square to celebrate but not really celebrate pun. Teman birthday boy jalan-jalan je. So this is one of the videos taken yesterday. Lawak students aku ni. Tah ape2 aje la diorang buat haha. Mehla tengok same-same perangai budak-budak  ni :D

Before the time is gone.

Yeah...I'm the type of person who always talk about feelings and emotions. Feelings. Emotions. Feelings. Emotions. Over and over again. But who cares isn't it? ;)

Not blogging for awhile, there were so many things happened. I kinda lost the person I love and will always love, that was one. And yeah..I'm talking about that person. A person who I always dedicate my love poems and songs to. I miss him. Badly. I couldn't do anything to be franked for he will not response to me like he was before. But I will not stop telling him how much I love him and how much I miss him. As I have the time to breathe and tell him that, I will. I will not stop until I'm gone.