Cerita lawak favourite aku

Terbaca Eja pnye blog yang ade post cite2 klakar,teringat plak kat satu cite lawak yang menjadi favourite aku since kat UIA dulu..tajuk die Mek Ayu dan Usop Jendol..haa the story goes like this...

Pada suatu hari, Usop Jendul nak belikan hadiah harijadi untuk kekasih barunya, Mek Ayu. So si Usop Ni pun ajaklah adik perempuan sepupunya untuk temankan dia shopping kat SOGO. Oleh kerana mereka baru dua bulan berkawan, Jadi si Usop Jendul membuat keputusan untuk membelikan Mek Ayu satu topi kain fesyen baru je, supaya taklah nampak dia beriya-iya sangat. Adik sepupu Usop pulak pegi beli satu seluar dalam hitam berbunga-bunga baru sebab ada sale hari itu. Masa membayar, dengan tak sengaja cashier dah tertukar kotak topi kain hitam tu dengan seluar dalam hitam adik sepupu Usop!

Selepas membayar Usop Jendul pun terus pergi Kaunter Hadiah dan suruh diorang bungkus tanpa check dulu. Kemudian dia balik ke rumah dan tulis surat untuk Mek Ayu serta mengeposkannya bersama hadiah yang dah tersilap tu.

Surat yang dia tulis tu berbunyi Camni :

Istimewa untuk kekasihku Mek Ayu,

Usop pilih hadiah ni kerana Ayu tak pernah pakai bila kita keluar jalan-jalan dan selalu mengadu sebab panas. Kalau bukan sebab adik sepupu Usop, Usop dah nak beli yang lagi jarang supaya kalau berpeluh tak lembab sangat. Tapi Usop tengok adik sepupu Usop pakai yang ada bunga tu nampak cantik pulak. Usop pilih warna hitam tu supaya tak nampak kotor. Promoter yang jual tu tunjuk dia punya dah seminggu tak basuh. Nampak elok aje! Usop suruh dia try Ayu punya sebab saiz promoter tu lebih kurang Ayu je. Memang cantik dan menarik! Harapnya Ayu suka sebab Usop rasa memang sesuai dengan Ayu. Tak sabar rasanya nak tengok Ayu pakai depan Usop. Usop harap Ayu akan pakai untuk Usop hujung minggu ni.

Salam Sayang untuk Kekasihku, Mek Ayu...

P/S : Kalau Ayu nak pakai, Usop nampak stail terbaru ialah dengan melipat bahagian depan dan menampakkan sedikit rambut.

Yang Menyayangimu,

Usop Jendul

*Apala reaksi Mek Ayu agaknye ye?hahahahahaha

My Sayang

Aku berkira-kira nak bela kucing before this. Kucing menjadi pilihan aku sebab kucing bersaiz sederhana yang best bila kita main ngan diaorang, and kucing equals to COMEL...I loike cute things hehe. Bagi aku kucing is the ideal pet untuk dibela except how to train diaorg supaya membuang di tempat yang spatutnya. Aku tak ade experience, so cuak sikit bab tu. Tapi bila dikira,ditimbang, difikir and membuat survey, ade pulak housemate aku yang geli kepada binatang yang berbulu ni..adoi hancur harapanku =(

So aku dah menukar decision aku daripada nak membela kucing kepada 'membela' bunga. So, aku pun dah pegi nursery and telah memilih bunga aku. Bunga yang menjadi pilihan aku is....

red daisy...hehe ni la die rupe bunga aku. Actually ade banyak color yang ade kat sana tapi as red is my favourite color so I choose this one. Di samping red daisy ni aku beli pandan jugak. (itu untuk tujuan mengelakkan tikus dan lipas dari berleluasa membuang sisa-sisa diaorg kat luar rumah aku).

Lepas ni aku dah ade list bunga len untuk dibeli. Sebab on the way balik dari beli my sayang (daisy and pandan), aku ternampak satu pokok bunga yang sangat2 santeekk...my friend cakap nama bunga tu is bunga tiga bulan or nama saintifiknya hydrangea mycrophylla. Ni la rupe die...

                           This type name die Endless Summer

Tapi this one pn santek jugak..

                           Yang ni plak name die Blushing Bride

So tu my target. Tak tau lagi nak pilih yang kaler ape. Tu akan ditentukan nanti hehe. Maybe this week kitorang akan pegi lagi nursery and aku akan dapatkan my next flower hehe. Sejak dah ade bunga ni aku asyik kisahkan diaorg jela. Rutin aku dah len dari dulu..dah jadi camni:
       
          DULU:

• Bangun pagi terus siap pergi keje. Keluar rumah dengan perasaan yang biasa-biasa je.Kadang-kadang bengang sebab tengok ade tikus telah meninggalkan sisa buangan kat bawah letter box. Hati aku akan cakap 'eeeiii...b***ak lagi!tak pasal-pasal aku kene cuci nanti.

• Petang after balik kerja macam biasa aku akan merehatkan diri di dalam bilik sambil bersembang dengan Encik Azlan.

         SEKARANG:

• Bangun je pagi aku terus bersiap macam biasa. Tapi before pegi kerja, aku akan ingat 'pagi ni kene bagi my sayang breakfast'. Tiap-tiap hari before aku gi keje aku bagi my sayang makan dulu. Happy je bila keluar rumah tengok diorang segar and cantik je kat luar rumah tu. Sambil aku bagi die makan, sambil aku belai die sebab orang kate pokok ni kita kene selalu belai die, cakap ngan die (tapi aku belum bercakap lagi ngan die. Takut jiran sebelah dengar, kang die kate aku gile plak haha. Aku berkomunikasi dalm hati je huhu) Then after selesai aku keluar rumah dgn perasaan happy compared to waktu  dulu-dulu.

• Petang after balik kerja, aku akan make sure aku dah bagi my sayang makan dulu before aku merehatkan diri. Semalam sedang aku tgh syiok berbaringan, tetibe teringat my sayang belum dikasi makan. Terus bangun pakai ape yang patut and bagi my sayang minum. After bagi diaorg makan baru blh rehat and borak ngn Encik Azlan ngeee~

• Bila aku balik kampung, teringat-ingat kat my sayang sebab aku takut housemate aku lupe bagi die makan. Last week balik, aku dah pesan kat housemate aku before aku gerak suruh tlg tengok-tengokkan sepanjang pemergian aku huhu. Pastu sehari aku kat kampung, aku message lagi housemate aku suh die tlg siramkan. Tapi bila balik je dari kampung, tgk die hidup dgn cantiknye, aku lega sangat sangat =)

Haaa...ada my sayang ni berubah jugakla hidup aku. Aku dah kurang rasa bosan and happy je bila tengok diorang. Dulu bila aku tgk mama and ayah yang ske giler berkebun, aku tertanya-tanya 'apala yang best nye bela pokok-pokok ni?' Tapi skang tuhan dah tunjukkan kat aku ape rasanya bila bela diaorg. Best sangat tengok diaorg besar, sihat and cantik. Waktu aku beli my sayang daisy tu, die ade dua putik yang blm bloom lg. Tapi skang dah bloom satu, best giler tgk hehe. 

My sayang ni kiranya berjasa jugak dlm hidup aku. Bila aku belek-belek diaorg, bagi diaorang makan, hati aku slalu cakap 'sayangnye aku kat korang' ;p My sayang pandan dah berjasa dengan takde lagi cik Ti membuang kat kawasan rumah aku and my sayang daisy berjasa dengan selalu menenangkan hati aku. Thanks kepada my sayang sekalian. Nanti bila dah ada tambahan kepada my sayang adala diaorang 'kawan' ;p

Bad talk

Rasenye kaum hawa ni tak lepas dari dilabel sebagai kaum yang mulutnya macam murai, suke mengumpat and yang sewaktu dengannya walaupun personally I think kaum adam pun tak kurang hebatnya dalam hal-hal cmni. Selama aku hidup ni, aku observe ade je kaum adam yang berkata-kata lebih hebat dari kaum hawa in terms of their style cakap, excitement diaorng bila bercerita...senang cerita serba serbinya lebih hebat dan mantop dari kaum hawa ni. First time when I saw this kind of people, terkejut sebab yela, kaum adam ni dikatakan tak macam tu kan. Tapi bila umur pn dah makin banyak, and dah ramai jumpe orang yang camni, so takde terkejut lagi.

Tak kisahla kalo orang perempuan nak dilabel macam tu ke ape ke kan..tapi as for myself aku rasa dah penat doing bad talk ni. Reason die sebab waktu aku ade krisis dengan my friend baru-baru ni, tiap-tiap ari ade je yang die wat yang aku cam tak boleh blah then I let my feelings go by telling what happened to my other friends and Encik Azlan. Tapi bila dah selalu sangat aku meluahkan perasaan, aku dah rasa penat..rasa cam dah malas nak amik kisah sangat ape die nak wat. Kalo sume bende aku nak kisahkan, sampai kiamat pun tak abis. And I feel bad bila I do the bad talk selalu sangat..cam tak best. Lagipun my friend yang ade krisis ngan aku tu pun dah slow,mungkin sebab die pun dah perasan people around her dah len ngn die. So, since die pun dah slow, aku pun dah malas nk kisah, malas nak amik port sangat pasal die, maybe the bad talk tu blh berenti stakat ni..but I don't mind nak dengar luahan perasaan orang len. Yang aku penat is talking bad about the same person almost everyday but not tired of listening to my friends' problems..so no worries ;p

Syukur

Sangat bersyukur bila dianugerahkan dengan perasaan yang bahagia ni oleh tuhan
Rasa bahagia bila kesabaran yang selama ni aku ingat and wat dibalas dengan kebahagiaan yang tak ternilai
Alhamdulillah sekali lagi sebab tuhan memberi peluang utk aku rasa
salah satu nikmat yang sememangnya milik-Nya.
Sekali lagi...Alhamdulillah,aku bahagia sgt =)

Outing..oUting!

Last weekend me had a great outing with my students..went to Berjaya Times Square..
Semester before ni pun pegi jgk keluar ngn students ramai-ramai after abis sem..
Hmm...maybe acara outing ni blh dibuat acara setiap semester ni ngeh ngeh ngeh
Diaorg ni very protective..kadang2 rase cam bdk kck yg dijaga abang-abangnye huhu
So ni la kenangan yang ada..the only one that I have waktu keluar outing that day

As last weekend punye outing dah dlm kenangan,this weekend I have one more outing which will be more exciting,great and wonderful hehe. After few months berada di kejauhan, this weekend me meet again with my Encik (I'm so excited wiiihhhuuu!!!) ;p

Adamaya Fever

I think skang ni tengah demam drama bersiri 'Adamaya'. Almost everyone is talking about that series. The people who are chosen to act in this series memang bestla. Everyone plays their role dengan best! sebab ramai skarang dah tak suke dengan Dani (Faizal Yusof), and menyampah denagn Maya (Lisa Surihani). Bila orang dapat message yang disampaikan means the actors and actresses do their job well la kan?

Tapi pelakon yang jd kegilaan ramai orang especially pmpuan (laki pn ade jgk) is Mia Sara Nasuha a.k.a Amani in the series. She is sooooooo cute and adorable. She involves dengan bende2 camni since 2 years old. No wonderla die pandai blakon kan. Pape pun..I'm so in love with her. Kene amalkan surah Yusuf (if I'm not mistaken) ni nak dpt anak comel huhu

                                                              CUTE EH? ;)

Aku memang tak paham..

Semalam aku telah menulis dengan sepenuh hati luahan perasaan aku terhadap seorg manusia yang bernama kawan ni. Nape aku tulis dengan bersemangatnye? sebab die dah wat aku bengang dengan menjawab pertanyaan bek aku macam nk telan aku and membuat muke sambil protes tindakan aku yang membuka lampu sewaktu hendak bersiap ke tempat kerja..Tapi tiba-tiba...

         Hari ni aku masuk kerja pukul 7 pagi sebab aku 

         jadi pengawas untuk calon-calon MUET.Macam biasa

         aku bersiap and trus melangkah kaki ke tempat kerja yang 

         hanya sekangkang kera tu..Then, tengah aku 

         mengawas students, orang yang menjadi topik hangat 

         aku semalm dengan mesranya menegur aku macam 

         tak ada apa-apa yang jadi. Memang btol la die ni.
         Waktu nak marah aku, suke-suke je marah, bila nak
         bek ngan aku, slamber badak ko je nak tegur aku cam bese,
         cam ko tak bersalahla?Eee..penat tau tak ada orang
         yang camni yang aku nak kene hadap. Adoiiii!!!

A beautiful ugly lady

When the word woman or lady came through my mind, what I always think is house chores, a soft spoken
 person, gentle, a good cook, loyal and all the gentleness of characters possesses by a woman. Yet nowadays not all women possess these characteristics..due to their involvement in the development of the country I suppose. Many women out there are now standing at the same level as men do. Yes, that is an achievement as formerly women are always downgraded, and treated as the inferior gender, but this achievement also brings a condition whereupon the women are not a good cook anymore, they are good in cheating her partner (better than men do), they now yell at people instead of talk to them nicely. Here I'm not blaming the women as sometimes it is men who being the cause of this condition or maybe it is also because of the challenges that these women faced that make them behave so.

The story that I want to share here is about a lady who is physically beautiful, with her skills of painting her face, her kindness which can blind people's eyes and the gentle way of speaking with certain guys. I admit that for some people she is beautiful. Me firstly blinded by her characters which I can say caring towards others. But as time goes by, her not so beautiful characters emerge and they are recognized by her friends' eyes including me. The first thing that I remember she did is; one fine day she wanted to contribute her energy in doing the house chores by picking up the trash and bring it out. Suddenly on her way out, the water from the plastic bag dripped and she did see and notice that water dripping. But instead of she getting in the house and do the mopping part, she just started her car and off she goes. What a simple life she has..do the mess and just leave it to whoever left at home. Plus, she is an expert in dressing up, and being smart in terms of her appearance buuuuttttt.....if you go to her room, you will be shocked as you can see her clothes and things are not being put properly at their place. Her appearance doesn't resemble her true self. What more about her is her tongue is like snake's. What she said is different from what she does but the funny part is she is not good in lying hahahaha.

Recently she has revealed one more character of her; she talks as if she mad at me when I asked her nicely. I don't know the reasons of she answering me that way. Maybe she thinks people around her adore and love her yet I am surely know that there are more people who don't like her than those who do. People are not blind, we can see and differentiate the good and the bad things. Who likes a woman who wants people to follow her no matter where she goes and what she does? We have our own life..so just go on with yours. Who likes a woman who will be mad if we reject her invitation because of wanting to complete our work or to have some rest after a day of working? Who likes a woman who knows how to borrow money but doesn't know how to return it back? And who likes a woman that always take our things without our permission  (as if they are hers)but doesn't give back?

I thought an adult woman won't behave like this for they know how to think rationally, I thought as well that a woman possesses characters that are pure. Wanted to get married, and a good partner for herself who doesn't have the things that she expects from the opposite sex is unrealistic. Talking bad about this person is not my sole intention but unfortunately my heart is hurt because of this particular person. Being patient is what i do for nearly a year; giving what I can as a friend yet my patience has been challenged by her and I think enough is enough. At first I try and do think positively as I realize and know that every person has their bad side but too much of it brings me here and what I am to her now. I don't really talk to her as I don't know how to act nicely to others while my heart fills with hatred.

I hope that she will go somewhere else, going out from my life. I don't even care because my happiness is not depends on her. When I give her my sincerity as a friend, she gave me shit. So I just want to return it back but I want to give more. Maybe she doesn't know that she is messing up with the wrong person. I don't give a damn to what she thinks about me.When she is making face with me, talk to me as if she is mad at me, she still uses my washing machine to wash her stinky clothes and still use my iron to make her crumpled clothes look nice. She is a lady who is nice outside but ugly inside.Me hope that there is still patience in my heart for I will depend on it.