Cintaku bersatu

Currently listening to this song....did 100 times already :D
But seriously this is one of the Malay songs that I love.The music as well as the lyrics.
Dengar ni macam feeling feeling bercinta gitu awww ;p

Here it is..Cinta Bersatu by Liyana Jasmay :)

Happy Teachers' Day!

Kami guru Malaysia,
Berikrar dan berjanji......

*ok tak ingat lirik.Sungguh tak patut aku.haih*

16.5.2012. It's the Teachers' Day yall! For all teachers in the world, this is our day. Let's celebrate it!Yay!!! Ya..obviously I'm happy today, celebrating Teachers' Day with my friends. I was so excited yesterday, knowing that there will be a slot for us; teachers. I think this is the first time I celebrate this day *I mean CELEBRATE*. Before, I was just sitting in  front of the TV, watching news about Teachers' Day celebration in schools yet today we are being celebrated. So I and we feel appreciated today. Thank you!Thank you! *clap clap clap*

So...being a teacher is not an easy thing to do. Teach doesn't mean we just tell things that are written on the paper titled 'Syllabus' but we have to also educate them...to be someone, to improve from bad to good and the list goes on. Therefore, I want to thank my teachers and lecturers who are willing to share their knowledge with us. To my friends who are teachers, me want to wish you guys a very great Teachers' Day. May we will be guided throughout our career and my wish goes specially to my mom. She is my very special teacher in my life as well as my siblings' *and she is actually a teacher who taught me when I was in primary school*. Without you mom, we would rather be no one than someone. I love you teachers!

Chocolate Indulgence for us from our superb English Department

Received flowers from students. Thank you a bunch guys! :)

A silence is not a yes

Situation 1
Father: Do you want to get married to this man?
Daughter: Silent *with head looking at the floor*

Situation 2
Father:Do you want to get married to this man?
Daughter: Silent *face on the father's face and smiling*

What is the difference between these two situations? With one simple question yet different responses. Malays said that if you are being asked and you give a silence, it means your answer is YES. Situation 1 resembles the unwillingness of the daughter to get married. Maybe she is forced to and can't do anything so silence is the best way of reacting to the question.Situation 2 says different thing when the daughter still silent but she's smiling..and this is a yes for that question for it is inappropriate if a girl excitedly say yes with a scream and what not. It's a Malay thingy..

Sometimes, it is hard for us to say what we are thinking. It is hard to deny and say NO. What more if we are talking to our bosses, parents and people who are 'standing' on us. When we have fights with our loved ones, and can't afford to have more of them even though we are hurt, silence is the best option. It is not agreeing to what they are doing but to give some ways for so that the situation will not get any worse.

So yeah..I am keeping myself down, being away from you so that you will get what you want. I can't afford to have another fight at this moment and I am not able to listen to you saying  me being selfish and can't understand you and your situation. I have had enough of that and now I won't say anything...as you wish.

 "Silence is the best answer for all questions" "Smiling is the best reaction in all situations"

People who laugh are people who are sad

Weird. Where is the logic that when we are sad, we laugh. Aren't people who are happy laugh and the sad ones will cry? It's the logic..but I agree on this when sometimes we laugh just to leave the sad feelings. There will be a time when we have problems, so much of it, that we cannot handle them at one time. We don't want to cry in front of others. We don't want to tell others about our problems and there is no other ways that we can find to solve the problems just yet. And so, to not being burdened by all the negative feelings and unhappy emotions, we laugh. Just to put aside the sadness, just to forget about it for awhile, and just to hide the problems from people around, we laugh. Then, when we are alone, that is the best time to scream our lungs out.

So not all people who have the loudest laugh and the biggest smile are the ones who are happy. They are hiding their sadness inside. It suits this people, 'Don't judge a book by its cover'.

"Perempuan yang banyak cakap,dan banyak gelak,adalah perempuan yang pendiam apabila mempunyai masalah dan banyak menangis,dalam diam" (UAI)

Oh Sagittarians!

"It doesn't matter who you are or how the things are, Sagittarius always have a back up plan for almost everything."

I tweet today, as usual and I found this one. Reading it I laughed because this is so true. Remembered the things I did when I was small...when it is about things that my mom doesn't allow us to. I always have back up plans. I;ll have like two or three plans in case mom found out what I did haha.

There was one day that I followed my sister to meet her boyfriend. She was in Uitm at that time and mom didn't know about the guy. We were with her bestfriend and her guy as well. So there were two lovebirds and me. They brought me just to cover things up. You know, going out with a little sister, mom won't smell anything. Before thaaatttt...forgot to tell...we went out at night. Boys, girls and night? It's a big NO for mom! So went to a place, talked, laughed like hell and we went back.

Flashing back to the situation in the car when we were heading to meet those guys, me was planning all the second, third, fourth, fifth *and the number goes on* plans. It was surprising to my sister and her friend that I was thinking of questions that might be asked by mom! I was like... "if mom asked A,what should we answer?" *we discussed* "Ok,we'll answer B". "If mom asked C,what should we answer?" *discussed again* "Ok,we answered D ok everyone!" and the brainstorming went on until we reached the place. And because of this, I was being called 'Mastermind' and they did depend on me for some reason haha.

So yeah, a Sagittarian *like me* always have a back up plan *at least* for almost everything! :D

Somebody I used to Know

I am now listening to this song like thousands of time. I am the very the like lagu ni. Ala2 lagu lame gitu hehe

Tears is not just a tears

I was sitting and crying just now. I was stuck in the middle of my problem. Don't know what to do and where to go. I didn't cry since the day I was 'given' this problem. There was only one or two drops of tears went out from my eyes and that's it. No more after that. But having this problem, it caused me not only a heartache but a headache as well. What a 'wonderful' things I have!Yay!! (+_+)"

And up to this point, I mean today...I was like can't bear with the feelings anymore and I cried. Not a heavy one but enough to release all the pain that I held for this long. This makes me think..why is it after I cried, I felt much better. Yes, I did feel this way before but the thought that I had have never came across my mind. So I asked Mr. Know All a.k.a Mr. Google then here I got the answer.

"Three types of tears are generated by the human eye. Basal tears protect the eye and keep it moist. Reflex tears flush out the eye when it becomes irritated. And emotional tears flow in response to sadness, distress, or physical pain.

Studies have shown that emotional tears contain more manganese, an element that affects temperament, and more prolactin, a hormone that regulates milk production. Sobbing out manganese and prolactin is thought to relieve tension by balancing the body’s stress levels and eliminating build ups of the chemicals, making the crier feel better."

These are actually taken from this site. *just in case you guys want to read the whole thing*. The word of God is always true. He creates everything in this world with its own benefits and advantages. 'Tears' is just a simple thing but it means a big thing. And so I have gotten the answer of why I will feel relief after I cried. Thank you Allah for this little thing that makes me feel better. For men, maybe tears is not the symbol of machismo but this not-so-macho thing can give you benefit. So don't afraid to cry.

p/s:I'm ok with guys who cry.

If I could turn back time

If I have the power to turn back time, or if there are times when God will give us like 'wishes', I would choose to go back when I was still in my mother's womb. There will be a time when God asks whether we can carry out our responsibilities in this world *correct me if i'm wrong*. And responsibilities bring a big meaning. It covers everything as a Muslim of course. And for that I would choose not to step my feet into this world...not to take all the responsibilities.

If I know that this world is ugly, full of things that are so attempting, those which can bring us to the hell, by the name of Allah I don't dare to take the risk. Enough with small things like our obligations. It sounds easy when we have to pray five times a day. But to carry out that obligation, there will be so many things that will come between the time. Work, kids, problem, laziness and what not. This world ain't easy.

I would choose not to enter this world because of the problems that we, adults, are facing. Kids don't have problems as we do but it's impossible to be a kid all the way unless we die as a kid. Life is hard to live in. Once I did pray to die as a child. That was when I didn't reach my puberty yet and I did that because I want to enter jannah.

And talking about people,they can make me crazy. All the problems that they created..only God knows how much is the pain I have to keep. I don't usually say what I feel because of certain reasons. Last time I did, people get annoyed and one person did say to me that sometimes we have to keep whatever feelings that we have in order not to make things worse. And since that, I keep most of my feelings to myself. It's hard though but I am sort of immune with that. Sometimes I did share my stories with friends and shockingly they said that as a woman, they can't stand at the place I'm standing right now. Then I realized that now I'm a stronger person. Yeah..look at the bright side.

If I could turn back time....I would just choose to die before I was born.

Maaf

Perkataan 'maaf' tu selalu diungkap waktu kita buat salah dengan orang lain. Dan fungsi perkataan itu juga adalah untuk memohon untuk orang lain memaafkan salah kita. Dari waktu sekolah lagi, teori yang diajar adalah, kalau kita buat salah, kita kena memohon maaf. Dan kesimpulan yang dapat dibuat adalah, kalau kita tak buat salah, kita tak perlulah minta maaf kan?

'Experience is the best teacher'. Rasanya semua orang pun pernah dengar benda ni. And daripada guru yang terbaik ini jugalah aku rasa teori yang aku belajar kat sekolah tu tak semestinya betul. Kadang-kadang dalam kita hidup ni, perkataan maaf tu tak semestinya kita perlu ungkap hanya diwaktu kita bersalah. Ada keadaan yang memerlukan kita untuk ungkap perkataan tu dalam keadaan yang kita totally innocent. Tak adil? Kalau nak ikut adil ke tak, mungkin ye lah. Tapi dalam keadaan yang tegang, perlukah kita still nak biar keadaan tu terus tegang kan? Bagus kalau kita ambil langkah untuk minta maaf. Tapiii later kita still kena betulkan keadaan.

Bila maaf diungkap dlaam keadaan yang kita tak bersalah jugak, bermaksud kita appreciate nilai relationship kita lebih dari ego kita. Memang kalau ikut ego, maka ikutlah kita teori yang kita blajar kat sekolah. Tapi kalau kita guna akal dan rasional lebih dari perasaan, maka tak valid lah teori tu. And yes, other than kita nak elakkan keadaan yang tegang berlanjut-lanjutan, kita ungkapkan maaf bila kita ketepikan ego kita untuk relationship yang kita sayang, appreciate and nilai dengan nilai yang tinggi.

Maaf bukanlah sekadar ungkapan yang pada dasarnya hanyalah berfungsi dan patut digunakan pada waktu kita bersalah pada seseorang. Tetapi ungkapan ni carries a very high value and maksud yang mendalam. Ada orang yang boleh 'cair' dengan ayat yang panjangnya hanyalah empat huruf ni. So, it is proven yang maaf is not only dat 'maaf'. Jadi ringan-ringakanlah mulut untuk minta maaf. Janganlah letakkan ego tu terlalu tinggi sampaikan kadang-kadang kita bersalah tapi still nak tegakkan benang yang basah. Berbaloi ke kita hilang satu relationship hanya disebabkan beratnya mulut untuk minta maaf? Jangan menyesal tak sudah, sudahlah.

You just...don't know

You just don't know how much I love you and how much I miss you
You don't know if I cried
You don't know if I lost my sanity because I think about you..a lot
You just don't know how I wish we were together

My life is no longer beautiful as it was before..yes,when you are here
There's no more sun shines
No more beeps on my phone displaying your name
No more sincere smile I can give to people around me

It hurts so much to lose you
Bearing all the problems alone
No one wants to listen to what I have in my mind
No one to share stories to

I lost everything.Yes.Everything.
But I know that you don't know all this
All you can see is I'm happy aren't you?
But do you know that behind that laughs, there are all tears
I fall sick.I can't eat.I can't sleep...since you were gone.

I am no more sane.When I am with people, I sit still, my mouth just can't afford to say anything because i am busying thinking of the happiness we had together.People noticed that I have problems.Yes, they do. They know who am I thinking of. They know it is you. They asked me not to think about you for you no longer want me but I can't afford to. I hope you are happy with the person you loved as you choose not to have me anymore. Please don't regret when I am no longer alive. My health condition is getting worse. I wanted to tell you but I stopped because I think you might not want to know anything about me anymore. I am no longer there in your life. So why would you want to know about this person.

p/s: you can take my heart as you have taken it away long time ago.Don't have to return it back to me.I don't want it anymore.

Everyday I eat JAM

Don't know why lately my housing area will be fulled with vehicles. You name it..vans, motorcycle, cars, bicycle, trucks, taxis, and buses. Complete isn't it? After a year and few months I've been living there, this is the first time that I think this place is soooooo crowded. To get out from the gate even, it stops you for like half an hour. That is if you are an ordinary driver in KL. Meaning you always break the rules on the road. But just think if you are a kind of polite driver. Always obey the rules. If there were times that you disobey them, it is done accidentally rather than intentionally. Just imagine how long you will be stopped among the big, lousy and noisy vehicles as well as drivers?

Yeah..I know the reason guys. Blame the school on the opposite side of my apartment. Because of it, we have to bear this condition. Buuuttt..nah, it's not about the school. It's about the people who are sending their kids everyday. Maybe they need to find other alternatives to send their children to the school and at the same time, avoid the road from being so crowded with all types of vehicles. Since the school holiday was over, I have to sacrifice my sleep to get up and ready for work. Hate this so much. I need to get up to face the jam. That's the problem. Like today, I get out from my house as early as 6.55 a.m. because I don't want to be in jam again. The traffic was far better than other days but still slow. And actually it only takes me about 10 to 15 minutes to arrive at my workplace. Since I went out early just now and there were not much troubles done by the drivers, I arrived at the office so very early. When there were only four to five cars parked at the parking lot. See? There were not much people coming yet. Hoooyyeeeaahhh so early *clap clap clap*

I don't want to explain about the condition when I'm going back home. It is worse than the morning. So to make things clear, I have decided to move. Not my car but myself. I'll choose a place nearer and more peaceful compared to the one I have today. I'm waiting for the right one. And once I have moved, I won't eat jam anymore I suppose.

Frustration

Aku baru tau macam mana dia sebenarnya dengan partner dia. Tiba-tiba aku teringat semua benda yang pernah dia bagitau aku dulu. And aku tertanya betul ke semua benda yang dia bagitau aku dulu? Betul ke semuanya? Atau semua tu adalah untuk menyedapkan hati aku? Aku tau dia tau aku macam mana and adakah semua yang dia cakap tu untuk buat aku ok. Just untuk ambil hati aku. Frust bila aku dapat tau benda tu semua. Mungkin aku tak patut percaya orang sangat. Bila aku percaya, macam ni pulak the ending.

Birthday celebration invitation

Semalam ada students ajak pegi celebrate her friend's birthday. Hesitated at the beginning tapi bila she insisted, pegi jugaklah. Her friend is also my student, named Mustaqim. So we went to Times Square to celebrate but not really celebrate pun. Teman birthday boy jalan-jalan je. So this is one of the videos taken yesterday. Lawak students aku ni. Tah ape2 aje la diorang buat haha. Mehla tengok same-same perangai budak-budak  ni :D

Before the time is gone.

Yeah...I'm the type of person who always talk about feelings and emotions. Feelings. Emotions. Feelings. Emotions. Over and over again. But who cares isn't it? ;)

Not blogging for awhile, there were so many things happened. I kinda lost the person I love and will always love, that was one. And yeah..I'm talking about that person. A person who I always dedicate my love poems and songs to. I miss him. Badly. I couldn't do anything to be franked for he will not response to me like he was before. But I will not stop telling him how much I love him and how much I miss him. As I have the time to breathe and tell him that, I will. I will not stop until I'm gone.